Creed

Released:  November 25^th, 2015

Rated:  PG-13

Distributor:  Warner Bros.

Starring:  Michael B. Jordan, Sylvester Stallone, Tessa Thompson, Phylicia Rashad

Directed by:  Ryan Coogler

Written by:  Ryan Coogler, Aaron Covington

Personal Bias Alert:  never seen a Rocky film

7.8 of 10

            It seems that in 2015, the 7^th time’s the charm.  Furious 7 racked up money and praise back in April, and Creed appears to be going in the same direction.  Oddly, both films find their series at tricky crossroads, unable to continue as they had before.  The Fast and Furious series lost one of its stars.  Creed must admit that Rocky Balboa (Sylvester Stallone) can no longer box.  The magnitude of these changes cannot be understated, and if nothing else, both series have seized the moment and delivered a crowd-pleasing entry for their die-hard fans.

            In Creed, the baton is passed from Rocky to Creed’s illegitimate son, Adonis (Michael B. Jordan).  Adonis is trying to prove himself without using his father’s reputation, making his way under the surname Johnson.  Of course, the illegitimate tag gnaws at him, and he’s angered at the thought of taking the name of a man he never met.  This doesn’t stop him from taking advantage of the connection to get Rocky in his corner, though (a contradiction that is thankful acknowledged), and the two form a relationship far beyond that of coach and trainee.

            The formula for the Rocky movies have always been well-worn, and Creed does nothing to change that.  We know all along that Rocky and Adonis will form a close relationship, that complications will arise, and then a big fight will bring them back together.  Like all great sports movies, the winning and losing isn’t what it’s all about.  The fight is symbolic, and unfortunately for Creed, that symbol is its weakest link.  The film’s metaphor is too simple and too clean to knock you out, a misstep that is a holdover from writer/director Ryan Coogler’s previous film, Fruitvale Station.  Neither film is sunk by this simplicity, but it’s more apparent in this drug out behemoth.  There’s just too much tire-spinning, too many moments of macho men acting out, and yes, too many training montages.  If these moments had built on each other to complicate the core relationship then we’d be having an entirely different conversation, but the film uses them only to pound down the same points, leaving the middle section feeling a bit weary.

            Still, complicated is not a defining word of the Rocky series, and fans that are turning up for a good-ole underdog story won’t be disappointed.  Jordan turns in an effervescent performance as Adonis, showing that he’s more than capable of carrying the sweat and the charm of the series.  Stallone is as comfortable as he’ll ever be in a role, and even if he’s not your cup of tea (he’s certainly not mine), it’s hard to argue against such a solid performance.  You’re third lead here would have to be Tessa Thompson, another charismatic actor that, like Jordan, has unfortunately been held back by the color of her skin.  Both should be much bigger stars than they are, and perhaps the best thing about Creed is that the continued series should become a career stabilizer for both of them.  Thompson plays Adonis’s love interest, a role that starts out as touchingly well-rounded but unfortunately fades.  And yet, Thompson and Jordan give such excellent performances that their relationship always works, and it will be a pleasure to see where they, along with Sly’s Rocky, end up next.

            What separates Creed from the sports movie pack is just how well it’s made, partially thanks to the performances that have already been outlined and partially because of Coogler’s direction.  His faults as a writer aside, Coogler is an unusually assured young filmmaker, taking chances here that mostly pay off in a beautiful and moving film.  The camera swirls, ducks, and pounds with the fighters, and the score goes big and sweeping.  In spite of the film’s simplicity, Coogler will play your emotions like a fiddle, and that last fight will certainly leave you feeling something, even if it does fall short of the genre’s legends.

            Coogler has made Creed into a reboot worthy of continued entries.  There are aspects of these characters that would be interesting to explore, and Jordan and Thompson prove to be a duo that will be exciting to watch well into the future.  It’s a rousing success for a very simple franchise and a tantalizing taste of what it’s capable of becoming.

Other Notes:

Ø  Obviously, Rocky is not a series that speaks to me.  That I responded to this film as much as I did is pretty remarkable.

Ø  This gets my nomination for Funniest Performance by a Turtle.

Ø  I do sincerely applaud this series for willingly shifting its focus to non-white people.  I have full confidence that audiences will continue to shell out money no matter the color of the actors onscreen.

The Expendables 3

Released:  August 15^th, 2014

Rated:  PG-13

Studio:  Lionsgate

Starring:  Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Antonio Banderas, Jet Li, Wesley Snipes, Dolph Lundgren, Kelsey Grammer, Randy Couture, Terry Crews, Kellan Lutz, Ronda Rousey, Glen Powell, Victor Ortiz, Robert Davi, Mel Gibson, Harrison Ford, Arnold Schwarzenegger

Directed by:  Patrick Hughes 

Written by:  Sylvester Stallone, Creighton Rothenberger, Katrin Benedikt

Personal Bias Alert:  Not an action movie fan, never seen the first two Expendables

 3 of 10

            Even I have to admit, this cast is impressive.  Not in the sense of being extremely talented actors, but in the sheer number of them that could break my spine in under a minute.  Yep, most of these guys (and the lady) are the real thing, ranging from massive bodybuilders to boxers to MMA fighters.  That makes me mildly terrified to say this, but they’ve collectively made a pretty terrible film.

            In a case of three heads are worse than two, the writing staff has been upped to a trio, and still they struggle to form a basic plot.  We get that Mel Gibson’s Stonebanks is the bad guy, having turned on Sylvester Stallone’s Barney and vaguely betrayed the expendables group they formed together.  But the reason why anything else happens, like why Barney breaks Wesley Snipes’ Doc out of prison or why he abandons his old group in favor of some young blood is only given cursory explanations.  It’s pretty clear that they’re trying to segue into the next action sequence (or at least the next quipy exchange) as fast as possible, and I have to wonder why three writers were necessary for that goal.

            Perhaps it was to get all that sharp, witty banter (sarcasm).  Now, I have to take a step back here and admit that I’ve always found this cheesy style of 80s-90s action movie dialogue rather off-putting, and while it did elicit a few laughs from others, there were long swathes of banter scenes that left the theater silent.  There’s simply too many lazy jokes, too many poorly performed gags, too many ‘there’s a woman in this one’ reminders, and one awfully terrible Antonio Banderas.  I actually kind of felt bad for him; he was clearly told to go that big, but watching his performance had me agreeing with the guy next to me who whispered “go back to Zorro.”

            The experience level in this cast is an odd mix, with some being action movie legends and others making their big screen debut.  It’s not noticeable, though, since everyone is skating along without really trying.  Sure, they give it their all in the action scenes, but anything that resembles actual acting is pretty sparse.  The only one really emoting anything here is Gibson.  Extracurricular activities aside, the man can act, and even in a one-note performance he outshines everyone else onscreen.  But hey, at least with a cast this size we get an overlong team introduction/recruitment sequence.

            Now to the selling point, the entire reason for this film’s existence:  the action sequences.  I’ll be frank; they’re very underwhelming.  Relying on uninspired gunfire and explosions sequences to keep you entertained, their repetitiveness eventually becomes outright tiresome.  The final sequence, which features the team fighting their way through an abandoned building, goes on for an eternity, endlessly repeating the hiding behind a wall and shooting the guy as he passes routine.  Add in that the $90 million budget was noticeably stretched too far, resulting in some unconvincing CGI, and you’ve got a dud.

            To be honest, I don’t have much to say about this film.  I walked out of the theater and tried to record my notes, but nothing came.  The stammering recording is almost sad, and at one point I actually exclaim “I just don’t know what to say about it, because I was so bored by it.”  Listening to the recording again, I actually remark twice on how bored I was.  So that’s my main takeaway:  I was bored.  You probably will be, too.

            Other Notes (Ridiculous Action Movie Version):

Ø  Guards never look up or down.

Ø  When Sly Stallone’s ears are ringing, he just has to yell incoherently to fix them.  (This was my favorite part of the film)

Ø  The beard shaving scene.  It’s worth a watch just for its awfulness.

Other Notes (Regular Version):

Ø  When they introduced Ronda Rousey’s character, were they trying to hide that she was a badass with hipster glasses?

Ø  What’s with all the shots of Mel Gibson walking up stairs?

Ø  SPOILER:  This does have an ethnically diverse cast, but they only toy with killing the two black characters.  I’m hoping that was meant to be a joke on that trope.