Spy

Released:  June 5^th, 2015

Rated:  R

Distributor:  20^th Century Fox

Starring:  Melissa McCarthy, Jason Statham, Rose Byrne, Miranda Hart, Bobby Cannavale, Allison Janney, Jude Law

Directed by:  Paul Feig

Written by:  Paul Feig

Personal Bias Alert:  not into broad comedy, haven’t seen any of Paul Feig’s movies

6 of 10

            The recent renaissance of commercially and critically successful James Bond flicks like Casino Royale and Skyfall have thrust the spy movie back into the spotlight.  Such success inevitably brings about parodies, homages, and comedic twists, littering cinemas with all variations on the genre.  2015 has already seen the homage-heavy Kingsman:  The Secret Service, and now we have the action-comedy Spy by writer/director Paul Feig.  Feig has openly spoken about how 2006’s Casino Royale planted the idea for Spy in his brain, and the years of gestation seems to have done the project some good.  For as broad of a comedy as it is, it’s remarkably well-balanced, delivery incessant comedy with smartly placed action.

            Feig again brings his female-lead twist, casting longtime collaborator Melissa McCarthy as the aspiring spy and filling out the rest of the cast with a raft of prominent women.  Miranda Hart appears as her sidekick, Allison Janney as her boss, and Rose Byrne as the main baddie.  Jude Law has the most prominent male role, and even he’s largely relegated to memories after a botched mission leads McCarthy into the field. 

Such female-driven films are slowly becoming more common, in no small part thanks to Feig and McCarthy, but rarely do we get to see the ladies dominating the action like they do here.  And I mean action, as McCarthy and company feature prominently in several rough-and-tumble sequences.  All are littered with quippy asides to maintain a light mood, but many are so well-choreographed that they are more than capable of standing on their own swivel-kicking feet.  Feig shows a good eye for capturing the action, using energetic cuts to keep it feeling rough without sacrificing continuity.  Similar camerawork is used throughout the film, helping to smooth the transition between the comedy and action elements.

Where the film stumbles is in its comedy, delivering the same ridiculous, mean-spirited jokes over and over again.  Feig must like McCarthy, otherwise they wouldn’t work together so much, but you wouldn’t know it by watching Spy.  Most of the time, her character is the continuous butt of jokes.  There is a sense that the jokes come from a place of misunderstanding, that everyone around her is only doing it based on incorrect assumptions about her appearance, but the fact that she becomes just as nasty as her compatriots takes away any chance this film had to teach a lesson about how incorrect this thinking is.  To be fair, McCarthy isn’t the only one to get picked on.  Everyone gets the hammer dropped on them at one point or another.  In fact, calling this film mean-spirited is incredibly nice of me, much nicer than the film is to its characters.  There are other, smarter ways of being funny.  Feig could have at least mixed it up a bit.

Despite the uphill battle, McCarthy remains a mostly likable presence.  She and all the other actors are hamstrung by paper-thin characters and a supremely traditional plot, but most operate adequately within these confines.  Jude Law and Rose Byrne make out the best, wringing their characters for all the smarm they’re worth without mugging for the camera.  Most of the cast seem happy enough to deliver their lines with all the clunk of a network sitcom, but it seems that Spy wasn’t aiming for much more than that.

Other Notes:

Ø  I like Rose Byrne in all these comedies she’s doing.

Ø  On the other hand, I didn’t like Jason Statham’s appearance.  I don’t blame Statham, I blame the irksome writing.

Ø  Someone will have to explain to me what’s funny about the pest infestations, because I didn’t get it.

Ø  In the film’s defense, I seemed to be much less enthused than the people at my screening were.  Perhaps the problem lies with me.

Furious 7

Released:  April 3^rd, 2015

Rated:  PG-13

Distributor:  Universal Pictures

Starring:  Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Dwayne Johnson, Michelle Rodriguez, Jordana Brewster, Tyrese Gibson, Chris “Ludacris” Bridges, Kurt Russell, Jason Statham

Directed by:  James Wan

Written by:  Chris Morgan

Personal Bias Alert:  never seen any Fast & Furious movies, intrigued by James Wan directing

3 of 10

            Nothing in Furious 7 is subtle; the cars are fast, the butts are in your face, and the ‘character beats’ hit you like a sledgehammer.  Obviously, this film’s production was difficult given the death of star Paul Walker mid-shooting, and the last thing I wanted to do was badmouth him or this film.  No matter what kind of films he made or how he died, Walker was a person, and the life of a person demands respect.  That sentiment and the cast and crew’s personal loss colors this film, but it’s still a movie, and I still didn’t like it, as much as I cringe even writing that.

            Preceding all this, many people’s curiosity was piqued when James Wan, a horror auteur known for Saw, Insidious, and The Conjuring, was selected as the next director for the series.  An action film about a street racing crew seemed out of his wheelhouse, and while horror gives its directors plenty of opportunity for lavish style, the Fast & Furious films are lavish in an entirely different way.  They are essentially a string of action set pieces, the bigger the better, held loosely together by a faint plot.  Wan certainly understood the formula, as Furious 7 is chock full of ridiculously staged action that knows to focus more on making things look cool than having it make any sense.  One of the biggest sequences, which featured prominently in the trailers, is a scene where cars and drivers were dropped from a plane.  It is insane in every way; it could never happen in a world where physics exists, but it still gets your heart pounding.  Wan captured this and every other action sequence with well-staged shots and quick cuts, barraging audiences with thrilling images that pass by in such rapid succession that they rarely make sense or add up to any clear idea of what the hell is going on.  These thrills are quick and cheap (in the sense that they’re meaningless, not that they don’t cost a hell of a lot of money).  However, this is the same effect you would get from watching well-funded clips in quick succession.  It is not a movie.

            The loose plot that holds these sequences together involves the murderous revenge by the brother of a man the crew took down in a previous film.  The crew, led by Vin Diesel’s Dominic Toretto, bands together in a kill-or-be-killed situation that turns into one of the most cleanly convoluted plots I’ve seen in years.  It’s clean only because the characters explain in painfully repetitive exposition what the next step in the process is.  The process itself doesn’t make a lick of sense, which, admittedly, didn’t seem to be a goal of Furious 7.  It was much more genuine about its subplot surrounding Paul Walker’s Brian O’Conner struggling to settle into family life, juxtaposing that with how easily he operates in the impromptu family of the crew.  As Furious 7 is the opposite of subtle, they ram this down your throat by constantly referring to each other as family and having everyone talk about Brian’s conundrum.  It’s clunky because it was certainly added in after Walker’s death, but it’s mostly heartfelt, especially when it’s coming from Diesel’s mouth.

            Thankfully, Walker turned in a fine performance.  He sold the outrageous action well, as did most of the cast, and they looked good standing next to cars.  Little more was asked of them, and the few scenes that do contain human dialogue was rushed through so quickly that poor performances were hardly worth noting.

            Simply put, this movie is not for me.  I don’t care about cars or muscles or derrieres.  I’m bored by mindless action and momentary thrills, and most of all, I hate wooden characters, the ones that masquerade as people when their entire persona and relationships can be summed up in a single phrase (which one character actually does).  None of these things are charming to me, nor does it pass for mindless entertainment, which is what many people praise these films for being the epitome of.  Furious 7’s chosen idiocy actively offends even the most basic parts of my brain, and that just isn’t fun to me.

Other Notes

Ø  The title on the movie poster is Furious 7.  The title card on the movie is Furious Seven.  Did no one discuss how the title was going to be written?

Ø  This is the kind of movie where a character says they’re going to Dubai, then it cuts to them in Dubai, and there’s still text at the bottom of the screen indicating that it’s Dubai.  You know, in case you forgot what the character said five seconds ago.

Ø  I feel like crap writing this.  RIP Paul Walker

The Expendables 3

Released:  August 15^th, 2014

Rated:  PG-13

Studio:  Lionsgate

Starring:  Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Antonio Banderas, Jet Li, Wesley Snipes, Dolph Lundgren, Kelsey Grammer, Randy Couture, Terry Crews, Kellan Lutz, Ronda Rousey, Glen Powell, Victor Ortiz, Robert Davi, Mel Gibson, Harrison Ford, Arnold Schwarzenegger

Directed by:  Patrick Hughes 

Written by:  Sylvester Stallone, Creighton Rothenberger, Katrin Benedikt

Personal Bias Alert:  Not an action movie fan, never seen the first two Expendables

 3 of 10

            Even I have to admit, this cast is impressive.  Not in the sense of being extremely talented actors, but in the sheer number of them that could break my spine in under a minute.  Yep, most of these guys (and the lady) are the real thing, ranging from massive bodybuilders to boxers to MMA fighters.  That makes me mildly terrified to say this, but they’ve collectively made a pretty terrible film.

            In a case of three heads are worse than two, the writing staff has been upped to a trio, and still they struggle to form a basic plot.  We get that Mel Gibson’s Stonebanks is the bad guy, having turned on Sylvester Stallone’s Barney and vaguely betrayed the expendables group they formed together.  But the reason why anything else happens, like why Barney breaks Wesley Snipes’ Doc out of prison or why he abandons his old group in favor of some young blood is only given cursory explanations.  It’s pretty clear that they’re trying to segue into the next action sequence (or at least the next quipy exchange) as fast as possible, and I have to wonder why three writers were necessary for that goal.

            Perhaps it was to get all that sharp, witty banter (sarcasm).  Now, I have to take a step back here and admit that I’ve always found this cheesy style of 80s-90s action movie dialogue rather off-putting, and while it did elicit a few laughs from others, there were long swathes of banter scenes that left the theater silent.  There’s simply too many lazy jokes, too many poorly performed gags, too many ‘there’s a woman in this one’ reminders, and one awfully terrible Antonio Banderas.  I actually kind of felt bad for him; he was clearly told to go that big, but watching his performance had me agreeing with the guy next to me who whispered “go back to Zorro.”

            The experience level in this cast is an odd mix, with some being action movie legends and others making their big screen debut.  It’s not noticeable, though, since everyone is skating along without really trying.  Sure, they give it their all in the action scenes, but anything that resembles actual acting is pretty sparse.  The only one really emoting anything here is Gibson.  Extracurricular activities aside, the man can act, and even in a one-note performance he outshines everyone else onscreen.  But hey, at least with a cast this size we get an overlong team introduction/recruitment sequence.

            Now to the selling point, the entire reason for this film’s existence:  the action sequences.  I’ll be frank; they’re very underwhelming.  Relying on uninspired gunfire and explosions sequences to keep you entertained, their repetitiveness eventually becomes outright tiresome.  The final sequence, which features the team fighting their way through an abandoned building, goes on for an eternity, endlessly repeating the hiding behind a wall and shooting the guy as he passes routine.  Add in that the $90 million budget was noticeably stretched too far, resulting in some unconvincing CGI, and you’ve got a dud.

            To be honest, I don’t have much to say about this film.  I walked out of the theater and tried to record my notes, but nothing came.  The stammering recording is almost sad, and at one point I actually exclaim “I just don’t know what to say about it, because I was so bored by it.”  Listening to the recording again, I actually remark twice on how bored I was.  So that’s my main takeaway:  I was bored.  You probably will be, too.

            Other Notes (Ridiculous Action Movie Version):

Ø  Guards never look up or down.

Ø  When Sly Stallone’s ears are ringing, he just has to yell incoherently to fix them.  (This was my favorite part of the film)

Ø  The beard shaving scene.  It’s worth a watch just for its awfulness.

Other Notes (Regular Version):

Ø  When they introduced Ronda Rousey’s character, were they trying to hide that she was a badass with hipster glasses?

Ø  What’s with all the shots of Mel Gibson walking up stairs?

Ø  SPOILER:  This does have an ethnically diverse cast, but they only toy with killing the two black characters.  I’m hoping that was meant to be a joke on that trope.